A Very Emotional Week...an end and a begining

It has been a very emotional week. After 2 1/2 years we had our final permanency hearing for our 3 yr old. It was a long morning in court. There was talk of postponing again (already postponed 3 times) due to varying reasons. Finally we began to move forward on things. TPR was ordered on Birth Mom (she didn't show up) and after several hours, "Dad" decided to voluntarily terminate his parental rights. After a couple of recesses and presentation of evidence by both sides, "Grandma" came in to court grabbed me and started crying. She said "He is going to do it". I was assuming she meant voluntarily sign over his rights.
Even knowing that the family is not capable of caring for this little guy, it is still very hard to walk through this journey with them. They do care for him and this was a very emotional time. I cried for the remainder of the court session; cried from relief that things where almost over, cried from what I thought the birth family was going through, cried because I am so emotionally drained from this journey.

I have never sat in on a Termination hearing. I do not envy anyone involved in these cases. It is such a gut wrenching decision. A friend who is a judge once told me, Issuing a TPR is the closest thing to the death penalty that he knows of. You are effectively putting to death a parent child relationship.

We plan on maintaining contact with the family. There have already been several teary phone calls.

I get to sit in on another TPR this week. I am not sure why this is all coming at the same time. I know God has a plan. This week for some reason, He gave me the scripture in Genesis 32 where Jacob wrestles with the Lord in the night. He then took me to Genesis 33 where Esau meets Jacob and asks him, "Who are these with you". Jacob replies that with him are "the children God has graciously given me."

I feel many times as if we have wrestled in prayer for these children. It has been a long journey (we have been foster parents for over 7 years). We didn't "plan" on having this many children at this time in our life. But I know "These are the children God has graciously given us."

Now, I am praying for His wisdom on how to continue on this journey and raise up "His" children to serve Him.

Court.....again

One of our little guys has court this week. It has been postponed 3 times. If we get a final decision, it could open the door for us to finally pursue adoption (please don't think I am against reunification in all cases-DFS has been working this one for over 2 1/2 years). He has been a part of our family for 2 1/2 years. Our judge seems very nice. I have attended every hearing our children have had. But, I sometimes question the training they receive before taking a bench that deals with children who have been abused and/or neglected. Children who are suddenly removed from the only (even though unhealthy) home they have known and then many times they face multiple moves throughout their time in foster care. I would like to see a requirment that our Juv court judges attend STARS and Spalding adoption training along with instruction in bonding, attachment, RAD, etc. I've always wanted to ask our judges (and in 7 years we have had several) what preperation-beyond an understanding of the law, did they recieve to equip them to make the best decisions for children in care. During our next campaign/election time, I would like the opportunity to ask our potential judges. Most people know little to nothing about the candidates before they go vote. This is sad considering the decisions they make will influence little lives and our communities for years to come. I think I may have to do a little more investigation into when our next election is and who are the possibly candidates. I do understand this is not an easy job. A friend who is a judge shared that to him signing a TPR is as serious as issuing the death penalty.

Blessed (although tired) Week!

This has been a blessed week!! Especially considering we have not had more than 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep for about 3 weeks.  Our two youngest each had surgery.  I thought I would get ahead of the game and schedule both surgeries the week after I got off work and have everything done for summer. Nice thought!! B had tonsils and adnoids out and hasn't hardly napped or slept since then!! Mason had ear tubes and has adjusted better, but started cutting more teeth and his allergies are bothering him.

BUT, I am so thankful for some surprise blessings! I entered a give away on Kari's Blog-My Crazy Adoption (the link is listed here-look for her button) and won a CUTE box of Huggies Blue Jean diapers! Then, went down to Kanakuk to pick up Grace and while Jeff was "entertaining" Mason in the back-who wasn't the least bit interested in Kamp-who should walk over to see Mason, but Kari who was there to pick up her daughter! They struck up a conversation and discovered we were the ones who won the diapers. I love GOD connections!! Especially ones involving adoption and missions!!! (I have been beggin my hubby to let me go on one of Kari's mission trips!). She is collecting donations, on her blog, for items to bring to the orphanges for her July trip to Africa. Maybe her encouraging words about the next trip earned me some brownie points with Jeff  (:>). Seriously he would love for me to go-I think somehow the idea of being left with 5 children makes him a little nervous. I can't figure out why :)!

I am also excited, I get to take Mason for a play date with his two older brothers and their adoptive Mom! They are finalizing their adoption this week. Sooooo happy for them!

And to top off the week, I actually got some time to READ!! I am diving in to Radical by David Platt. "Taking Your Faith Back from the American Dream" I HIGHLY recommend it! I am going to go back and REREAD all the pages I folded down and places I underlined.  I have a stack of "To Read" this summer beside my bed.  Some titles I am looking forward to reading are Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Sirit and Crazy Love by Francis Chan, Finishing-One Million Arrows, and Same Kind of Different as Me.......Maybe after I get a little sleep :)

http://www.fostercaremonth.org

May is National Foster Care Month...You Can Change a Lifetime!

All children — including the 463,000 American children and youth in foster care — deserve a safe, happy life. Young people in foster care especially need nurturing adults on their side because their own families are in crisis and unable to care for them.
Each May, we salute the compassionate people who make a difference by serving as foster parents, relative caregivers, mentors, advocates, social workers, and volunteers. Thanks to these unsung heroes, many formerly abused or neglected children and teens will safely reunite with their parents, be cared for by relatives, or be adopted by loving families.

But some children in foster care are less fortunate. Most communities across the country are urgently seeking more everyday people to help these youth overcome their troubled childhoods and realize their full potential. No matter what their age, every young person in foster care benefits from a meaningful connection to a caring adult who becomes a supportive and lasting presence in his or her life.
Take a closer look at the number and diversity of people who were once in foster care. It might surprise you. In fact, there are an estimated 12 million foster care alumni in the U.S. representing all walks of life. Behind this statistic are countless stories of children who grew up to be thriving adults while others struggled with life’s challenges all alone. The difference between triumph and tragedy will become very clear as you read about these foster care alumni. Success stories come about when someone takes the time to offer comfort, provide support, give advice, or simply share a milestone moment with a youngster enduring a difficult family situation.
Now is the time to get involved. No matter how much time you have to give, you have the power to do something positive that will Change a Lifetime for a young person in foster care.

"21 KIDS!" Someone Recently Shared this Story and Link With Me

Very encouraging!! It is easy sometimes to feel isolated and bogged down by the "system".  It is wonderful to hear other stories of how God is moving to place children who do not have a  forever family, into loving Christian homes. I'll agree with a friend-I have no room to whine.  I love my children!! I like the quote/paraphrase from this families' blog-"The journey to the children is what beats you down-not caring for and loving them"
Reminds me-Don't ever listen to someone's "No", when God has told you "yes".  Don't ever ignore God's "No" when someone is telling you "yes".

http://itsacrazylifebutitsourlife.blogspot.com/p/our-adoption-story.html

T's Are Coming!!!

I am so excited!! We have placed our first order for the give love~foster~adopt Tee's!!!! I can't wait to see them. Thanks so much to everyone who has ordered. We are not done yet. We will print another round at the end of April!

GIVE LOVE, Foster Care Adoption T-shirt Fundraiser is Here!!

I am so excited!! My daughter had to do a community service project for school. She decided to do something to help kids in Foster Care. We are going to be selling T's to raise awareness of the need for loving Foster Care and Adoptive homes. We decided to use all the proceeds to provide suitcases and other needed items for Kids in care.  Please let me know if you have a question? There are 2 types of women's T's available, a fitted T and a regular T. The fitted women's T's run SMALL. You are welcome to contact me by email if you would rather send in a check for your order. Each T is $20. If you live nearby, I can arrange a delivery or pick-up.
gormanfamilycircus@sbcglobal.net

CHILDREN AND PRENATAL DRUG EXPOSURE

A GOOD WEBSITE FOR INFORMATION ON DRUG EXPOSED CHILDREN

http://drugaffectedchildren.com/

Introduction

This website, a project of PDE, is intended to share information on children affected by prenatal exposure to cocaine, crack, methamphetamines, alcohol and other drugs. Articles, information on training, curricula, personal experiences, and research results will be posted here. Products and services are available to help schools, parents, social service agencies and health professionals deal effectively with drug-affected children. Your comments and additions are very welcome.
Our Mission

is to provide training and other help to schools, parents, teachers, therapists, and others concerned at the lack of information on and -- more importantly -- help for children whose lives were changed before they were even born by parents who used drugs and/or alcohol.

Love and Logic Training

Becoming a Love & Logic Parent

Monday Evenings

Starting Monday,

February 22.

There will be 4 Monday

sessions -February 22,

March 1, 8 & 15.

5:30-6:00 Dinner

6 :00-9:00 Class

Free dinner & Childcare

Where:
Hand In Hand Multicultural Center

1436 West Hovey

 
The classes, dinner and childcare are provided free but there is an $8.00 charge for the workbook.

To register call 417-865-4673 anytime. If you get a recording please leave a clear message with
name and a contact number.

 

To help raise kids in a way that provides loving support from parents

while at the same time expecting kids to be respectful and responsible.

"Labor" Day

     I love children.  I love adoption and seeing children find wonderful loving homes! I love having a huge, sometimes chaotic family. We started parenting 15 years ago with the birth of our first child. Even at that time Jeff and I knew we wanted to adopt.  We individually knew we wanted to adopt before we were married. After the birth of our first child we signed up for our local foster care agency.  We took the training (what little there was 14 years ago) went through the home-study/psych eval/home invasion. And it just wasn't God's timing. We suffered through a miscarriage. Delt with diappointment and loss. And wondered why. When our daughter was 3 we were blessed with another child. Yet we still had a desire to adopt. We again sufferd through another miscarriage when our second child was 1. I was finished with pregnancy!
We went on with life and enjoying our girls. Yet I still felt there was a hole in our family.
In 2002 we again felt like we were supposed to get licensed to become adoptive parents with our local children's services (not foster parents-adoptive). We finished our training that summer. And we waited....
In August 2003, while on vacation our friends who were with us, pulled out a baby blanket. They said God told them we were going to be blessed soon and that this blanket was a physical reminder of the child that was coming soon. It was to wrap that child up in when we took them home.
      A couple of months later, God spoke to me and let me know that DCS would be calling and that we were to take that child. They did call, but they needed a "foster" home for a newborn. It was Labor Day weekend and they didn't have any open foster homes. We were not going to foster. HA, God had other plans. We accepted the placement. Our friends helped us rush to get everything together in 12 hours for a newborn. It had been 5 years since we had a baby and we had gotten rid if everything!
When we went to pick him up one worker said "Oh, his Mom will never get him back....", another said "There are always family members who want the babies.". We just took him home(in the blanket our friends gave us) and loved him the same way we loved our girls. After a long two years of ups and downs and trusting God, we finalized our adoption and he is ours forever.
     We took a break from foster care. Then in 2005 we again felt God calling us to help children. We were just going to take 30 day emergency placements. God must sit and laugh at us so often. Our first "emergency" placement stayed for 3 months then went to a wonderful relative. We have had several other short term placments. We currently have an "emergency" placement who we love dearly and who has been with us for 2 years. Our other wonderful little guy has been with us since birth, for 10 months.    
     We have continued to have a great desire to adopt and add to our permenant family. We have submitted our home study on numerous children in need of an adoptive home.  Sometimes, I wonder why we are a good enough family to foster parent a child, but not adopt one. I have many times thought of how much easier it would be just to adopt from overseas. More expensive, but with a definite timeline and end to the process. But, this is the place to which God has called us. My husband, when he was a teenager, would share how fun he thought it would be to have 10 kids.  He had become more conservative by the time we got together :). And, no, we are not planing on having 10 kids.
     Through everything I remain passionate about children. Especially those in need of loving families. I am very excited to see how God can use us in the future. I am reminding Him of how badly I want to go to Africa and minister to children there! I know I am going sometime. I know he has a plan for the children in our family. I know I need to pray and trust Him. I also really like to be in control!!!! Somehow He just doesn't want to share the drivers seat with me. And reminding myself of all He has done for us helps. Somedays though, it just seems like it is so much easier for other families to fulfill their dreams.

Local Foster/Adoption Training Opportunities

Exciting Training Opportunities

Spaulding Adoption Training: February 26th 6pm-9pm and February 27th 8am-5pm at the Council of Churches.

Elevated Needs Level A (formerly Behavioral training): April 17th, 24th, and May 1st 9am-4pm at the Council of Churches.

Elevated Needs Level B (formerly Career training): May 8th, 15th, 22nd 9am-4pm at the Council of Churches.
We are offering in-service trainings to help our families get caught up on training hours. Below is a list of dates for some in-service training. See the box at the bottom of the page for Module training that will be held throughout the year.
Module 1, Session 1 In-service training: Thursday January 28th 6pm-9pm at the Council of Churches.
In-service training (3 training hours): Monday March 8th 6pm-9pm at the Council of Churches.

Topic: Addressing attachment issues, interventions and approaches

In-service training (3 training hours): Tuesday April 20th 6pm-9pm at the Council of Churches.

Topic: Addressing the needs of sexually abused children and teens.

In-service training (3 training hours): Tuesday May 4th 6pm-9pm at the Council of Churches.

Topic: Pediatric Bipolar Disorder, general info, interventions, symptoms, difference between this and other common childhood disorders.

Please contact your licensing worker to get a referral form to register for any of these trainings.

Suitcases

A suitcase.  Chances are, if you own one, it is stuffed in a closet, up in your attic or maybe cramed under your bed. You haul it out and dust it off for family vacations, a retreat or a required conference for work.
If you are a foster child, a suitcase is a luxury.  Most foster children arrive in care with little more than the clothes on their back.  Maybe a few items in a Walmart or garbage bag. Then, as they travel back and forth to visits at home or maybe move to another foster home they pack up their belongings in a nice new suitcase.  Wait, no,  a lot of the time they get to use that wonderful device for transporting clothing.....a plastic bag. Hummm, how many people would feel proud to carry their kitchen garbage bag full of their precious belongings on their next trip away from home. You know, filled with all those important items that we sometimes spend extra cash to "insure" for travel.  As you can probably tell, it infuriates me to have a child arrive at my home with their belongings (items that are SO very important to them) in a trash bag or maybe if they are lucky, a department store bag with handles.  It makes me even more mad when they arrive at my home like this after a transfer from another foster home. I can somewhat understand when they are quickly removed from a dangerous situation.  But, there is no excuse to send a child out to another home or back to their home with their belongings in that manner.  That being said, a wonderful lady recently wanted to organize a group to collect suitcases for children in foster care. When I heard her idea I thought it was great.  I haven't heard anything more about it, so....I am toying around with ideas/ways to raise money to buy suitcases or duffle bags for Foster children. I know you are on the edge of your seat. But, we're still brainstorming ideas in my home. So, if anyone has some creative juices flowing in their veins-suggest away.

Currently there are over 11,000 children in foster care in Missouri.

Over 2,000 children are waiting for a forever family.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves..  Prov 31:8a

Over One-Half Million Children are in Foster Care on any Given Day...

According to the CWLA, on any given day, there are more than half a million children in foster care in the U.S., the majority of whom have entered care due to abuse and neglect by their parents. Three‐fourths of them are placed by the government with foster parents who open their homes to care for these vulnerable children and almost one‐fifth are placed in group homes and institutions.
http://www.cwla.org/advocacy/marcsummary.pdf

Transitions

The Gorman Family Circus. That is what my nephew affectionately calls our family. We are a family of 7 at the moment (that can and does change from time to time). We have been brought together through marriage, childbirth, adoption and foster care. Currently (and Forever) there is myself, Marti, my husband of 18 years-Jeff, and our children Olivia, Grace and Andrew. We are also blessed to be a family to our two foster sons, who we love dearly. We have been foster parents for 7 years and have been blessed to adopt one of children. We love our children dearly and hope to soon be blessed again through adoption.







December 20, and Christmas is 5, yes thats 5 days away. Am I ready, no. We have been so busy with programs, work, sports etc. And God must have a sense of humor because we get to combine Christmas with the begining of transitioning our 2 1/2 yr old little guy, who has been with us through foster care since he was 7 months old, back to his Mom. And our other little foster babe, who is 8 months old is begining his journey towards permenancy. After trying for four years to adopt again, I think I have about all but given up.